oh god the rape fog is back!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Holy sore nipples Batman
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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