This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
