just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Im part way to drunk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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