Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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