been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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