I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize