I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
