Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
