you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize