My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
im on a boat
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