the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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