If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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