their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize