Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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