you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
