he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This baby is an asshole
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
