They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
