Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize