I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
