wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
