btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
BRING THE BAGELS
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
