I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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