I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize