so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize