just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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