White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My balls are so social today.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize