Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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