I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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