But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
