he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
