you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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