There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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