I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
