Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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