Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
