I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
