Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
