I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
