Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
