New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
