I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
