It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
