Im at strip club and am horny
"it" just moved
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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