i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
