I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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