Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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