People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
