Just fell off a train. Bad.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize