i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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