he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize