Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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