Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
