I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
