Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize