Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
