but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
