I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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