return my video game
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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