I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
