It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize