sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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