Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
