I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
