I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
