id be glad to
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
