good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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