: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
