i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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